While, being diagnosed as bipolar recently was not as shocking as some would think, I still can not embrace the treatments that await me. For years, I have fought the ensuing battle against depression, to no avail. I was hospitalized at 12 for being severely depressed, however I deceived my way out of inpatient treatment and relied on a daily dose of antidepressants to fill the void in my soul. As an adult, I've had at least three doctors advise me of my bipolar tendencies. Regardless, even after much research and realizing that yes, I do have most of the symptoms associated with bipolar disorder, I still don't feel like I have a problem. I am addicted to this manic state of productivity and would rather take the ostrich in the sand approach.... "If I can't see it, it must not exist."
But, here I am, desperately wanting to make the changes in my life that may lead to the path of happiness. Within the next week, I will surely be under the influence of medication. I embark upon this with much apprehension. I fear the changes that my personality may endure.
I hope this newest venture will bring about the changes that I desperately need.
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