I've just been so tired and confused the past few days. I don't want to do anything other than lay in bed all day. Last summer, I was so active, going hiking and camping ever chance I got, but this summer, I just don't have the desire to walk out of my bedroom. Lately, I've been getting lost in the middle of conversation. I think I need a break for awhile.
I really have been working hard to make changes in my life and in my health. It's overwelming because it just doesn't ever seem like its enough. I will never be good enough.
Today just isn't a good day for me. I keep thinking, I wish it had been me instead of her. I would have gladly left. My life is this big production of trying to pretend everything is ok all the time, when really I feel so out of control. I just want to run away from it all; start new somewhere, with no responsiblity, no obligations, no one to let down. She loved life and her family.
And now, here I am, hosting my own big party of self pity, and feeling utterly and completely alone... Where's the chips and salsa?
No comments:
Post a Comment