A new dawn must have skipped me.

I seem to be at a loss of word or ideas. As I think of it, I've been at a loss all day. I struggled to find a reason to stay in therapy today. While sitting in therapy, I fought to figure out what emotions I was feeling. How does a person not know what they are feeling? Of course, at the same time, I must admit I don't know who I am. Yes, I'll admit, this definitely sucks.

The following are my notes from group:

When writing a letter, determine what your expectations are. If you are expecting your letter to make the other person change, you will be disappointed when they don't change.

Suggestion during arguments: time out

My mood at 10:00 am
even tempered, sleepy, blank, bored, nervous that my time is ending, playful, joking, unfocused, anxious

Objects: inanimate, unfeeling, disposable, replaceable (generally), can mean something to others, monetary value, lacking in life, purpose.

Have I ever in my life felt like a stapler? My relationship with my father.

Who else do I treat like this? Everyone in close range - I keep myself oblivious to them so I don't have to feel the pain.

Addictions treat family members like objects.

What are you going to do differently to stop treating them like objects? Leave the bedroom more often. Be myself.

"Self esteem is different from conceit. Conceit is the weirdest disease in the world. It makes everyone sick, except the one who has it."

Tru dat!

Very true, but as the one who is either blessed with self esteem or conceited, this is a line that may be confusing to determine. Is it conceited to share tidbits of what you are proud to have accomplished? When is it just healthy self esteem to boast about your self? For the one sharing or boasting their most memorial achievements, they know not how they affect others until the damage is done. The impact on those around the bragger is not known until a negative response is received. Then the healthy boasting is retracted and esteem is slanted. A truly conceited person is often hiding a false sense of security. Inside they are self destructing but outside they appear to be a ray of sunshine.

I lack in both - occasionally I may brag about accomplishments, but I lack in the security behind it.

I can re-parent myself. I can retrain my thinking. I can rebuild my self esteem. Work on affirmatives every day.