Here I am, AGAIN, up at 2 am after falling asleep at 8pm. I shouldn't be awake... I assume the ambien has worn off. I'm so tired of all of this. So, I sit at my cheaply made desk and notice the parking stubs from camping 2 years ago. Has it really been two years since we went camping with her? ::sigh:: I'd rather not linger. I make a plea to the warm chamomile to quickly calm my energetic self tonight. As it stands, I've sorted through a pretty impressive pile of papers and now I'm compelled to journal. I made log for moods last month, but never used it. I'm feeling rather foolish now that I have an appointment with a new Dr tomorrow. I am hoping that this dr can mean some change. I honestly can't continue to live in this state. I couldn't manage class today and when we took the kids to swim, I spent most of it in the truck, ready to go home. Am I really disabled? Am I really meant to live on like this. I've reached out as much as I think I can, to no relief... It's just too much anymore.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1uD8DlxwHsE